Saturday, May 31, 2008

Notes from another ground

First, let me emphasize that I am not a supporter of Barak Obama in the presidential campaign. I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican nor a Libertarian nor a Green. I am an independent. So please my fellow Hillaryists, I do not want to see my name in the papers as yet another Obama supporter who said bad things about our lady of the perpetually aggrieved. Like you, I pull my hair and weep real tears every time she is disrespected, which is every minute of every day -- every single minute -- by those horrible Obama people.

I have to admit that I was not always a big Hillary fan. Originally, I was for Rudolph Giuliani. After he dropped out, I stayed on the sideline. My reasons were simple. I prefer deeply flawed and outrageously ridiculous candidates and at that time Hillary seemed decent, boring and relatively sane. How times have changed, eh?

To earn my support, a politician must meet two very important criteria. First, he or she must be a really sick sociopath, a person who will say or do anything, not only to get elected but to stay elected.

Hillary has shown that she is as sick a sociopath as Giuliani or anyone in the Bush administration. But socio-pathology alone is not enough. To earn the coveted chuckling endorsement, a candidate must also be truly ridiculous. I can't exactly put my finger on when Hillary trampled that line -- was it the white power argument? The embrace of the right wing hate machine? The exploitation of Jeremiah Wright? Some small, mostly unnoticed thing? -- I don't know, but she has definitely become ridiculous. Outlandishly so.

But in what may serve as proof that there is a God (and that he is an idiot) we got an unsuspected bonus with Hillary. Not content to be ridiculously crazy by herself, she has developed a cult of personality and bamboozled a significant number of poor souls into worshipping her. These Hillary cultists are so ridiculous that they are almost beyond ridicule. Almost perhaps, but not quite.

John McCain, on the other hand, is nowhere near as interesting. He's more of a psychopath than a sociopath and although he is ridiculous, it is a pedestrian kind of ridiculousness common to all sleazebag politicians. And he doesn't even have any followers. He is an employee. He is owned by grey men in blue suits. Where's the fun in that?

Well, it pops up now and then, but with McCain and his employers it's more of an Orwellian form of ridiculousness and we've had eight long years of that. This article about his transparent corruption in today's Washington Post is precious in its antiquated way. Get this:

"Northrop Grumman fully agrees with the position taken by Citizens Against Government Waste (CAGW) that encourages members of Congress to protect the integrity of the defense system acquisition process," Belote said in a statement.

Yes, we must protect the integrity of the defense system acquisition process. When it comes to arms sales, nothing is more important than integrity. Although I trust McCain to protect it, I know Hillary will do so as well, probably better.

So since the integrity of the defense system acquisition process is safe no matter who becomes president, I vote based on the potential entertainment factor. My greatest hope is that my fellow Hillary cultists wear uniforms. Or maybe we should get teardrop tatoos to show our agony from the deep wounds inflicted by those horrible Obama people.