Friday, November 03, 2006

Homo's R us

Buried deep in Dan Froomkin’s daily news roundup, he reports that the latest virulent Christian anti-homosexual Republican to be outed as a dick sucker, the Rev. Ted Haggard, participated in weekly conference calls with President Bush. Reportedly, he and the president liked to joke that the only thing they disagree on is what truck to drive.

It’s becoming increasingly obvious that the most virulent homo-haters are homosexuals themselves. I’ll leave it to the professionals to figure out if they are cynical shysters without a shred of morality or just self-hating losers who want to punish others for their own desires. but I still have to wonder why nobody else comments on the near certainty that George W. Bush is also a closeted gay man. Maybe I’ve missed it? The world is a big place, but it appears I am the only one on earth who has commented on the obvious.

For fuck’s sake, the man was a male cheerleader. Perhaps not all male cheerleaders are gay, I trust there are one or two, but the rest of his biography screams “in the closet” almost as loudly. It was widely reported that many women came on to him when he was working in various political campaigns, yet he somehow managed to abstain. The official biography chalks this up to moral rectitude, but who are they kidding? Everyone but me, I guess, but think about it. Young Bush is on an alcohol/cocaine binge, beautiful young women are throwing themselves at him, and he remains chaste? No alcohol/coke infused unattached straight guy would turn down mass quantities of easy pussy. Sorry to put it so plainly, but that's the way it is.

But since no gay lover from those years has ever come forward, it seems likely that he did remain chaste and that the mass quantities of alcohol served to restrain his libido rather than loosen it.

And then like so many closeted homosexuals, he got married and had a couple kids. Take a close look at pictures of Laura throughout the years. She is the poster perfect example of the woman who isn’t getting any.

Meanwhile, Boy George is working out obsessively on his mountain bike and hating them homosexuals, just like so many other closed Christian Republican homosexuals do. Yea, it’s probably true that the biggest difference between Haggard the homo and Bush is the truck they drive. That, and I trust that Bush is not smoking crank, though you can’t tell it from the way he acts.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s obvious that homosexuality is natural and a certain percentage of the population will have those inclinations. Nothing wrong with that. But it sure seems that many of those who try to repress their natural impulses turn into evil self hating dickheads. From J. Edgar Hoover to Bush and all the Christian fuckwads in between, the empirical evidence just keeps piling up.